I and vj were married in nov 2005 and like most of the couples we frankly believed tht it wud be a smooth sailing for us and a road of roses laying ahead of us.
Of course in the first stage of our married life, like most of th couples we did face minor disagreement and hiccups here n there.
I thot I was right nearly all th time and let vj know bout it. I ve always been a good talker and pretty influential .. so used all my talents to win our arguments
We used to yell and scream at each other and some times cold war but I always made sure I won. The problem was I wanted VJ to lose ..
We did many thing together .. many outings and loads of fun filled moments to cherish but definitely this was not one of them. Ultimately and Unknowingly I was slowly but steadily beating vj down emotionally.
We wud disagree and I wud over react and I dint realize I was constructing a wall between us . Adding a brick daily…
I failed to notice tht winning at all costs could eventually jeopardize our marriage.
Then one fine day we sat down and vj shared how he felt wen I fought wid him, argued for silly reasons and explained y we got married and where re we heading to…
It was really an eye opener and for th first time I realized I was putting winning the arguments ahead of winning the relationship.
Tht was a turning point and from tht day I decided to change .. realized that having th right attitude was more important than having the right answers .. I changed my approach .. softened a bit ...listened more .. used to think a min before speaking and mainly stopped making a big deal out of lil things..
And yes the wall I ve laid has now become bridges ..and am happy to say even now we do argue but at the end of the conversation we both win and lose !!!
As per the sayings .. The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place , but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment..